Now onto this wonderful holiday, Halloween. I will be completely honest. At the age of 23, Halloween scares the hell out of me. Every time I walk into a store/restaurant that is set up for halloween, my heart starts to pound, my stomach goes upside down, and I have to keep my eyes on the ground. This is the same for when I walk or drive past houses that are decorated scarily for halloween.
Last year, my friends and I decided that we wanted to go to Salem on Halloween day. We thought it would be a lot of people really dressed up, having fun and drinking. Well that is partially how it was. While the sun was still out, people were just walking around, having fun, and going on tours. My Halloween anxiety wasn't too bad yet. I got a little freaked looking at people with face masks or face painting, but I survived. Then we went through the Haunted House. This is the moment I lost it. The clowns, the dark, the smoke, the people jumping out at you. I still have nightmares about that clown following me around. And of course once we got out of the Haunted House, the sun was down and random people were jumping into peoples faces, screaming. I honestly didn't know where to look. I couldn't decide if I should just close my eyes and have my friends lead me to where ever we were going, or if I should just keep searching for people jumping into faces, and then run away from them. Luckily my friends were ready to leave Salem at that point because I was having a major freak out.
The other night I was telling this story to my mom, and I found out that I have always been terrified of people in masks or face painting. I remember being young and being terrified of clowns. I honestly do not know how my parents got me to sit through the circus, or visit my grandma (she had clown dolls and statues ALL over her house, hence why I would never sleep over). When my brother was three and i was 6, my parents took us to the circus. My brother decided to get his face painted and my mom took me to watch. All I remember is screaming and crying hysterically. I still look at pictures of my brother with his face painted and get heart palpitations.
I also found out why my parents waiting until I was about 10 years old to go to Disney World. Apparently I couldn't look at people in body costumes. At the age of 6, I freaked out when I went to a birthday party and there was a Barney there. Now instead of feeling like a deprived child who had to wait FOREVER to go to Disney, I've realized that I couldn't handle the fun of Disney World.
Thankfully, this October I am swamped with school work. I will not have much time to go into Halloween decorated places. I will also be going trick-or-treating with the kids I used to babysit. Hopefully that won't be too terrifying for me! And if anyone has suggestions as to how to not freak out so much during this month, please let me know.
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