10 days and counting

In 10 days I am turning 23. I am both excited and nervous. I am excited because I am finally starting to realize what I want to do with my life, and I am on the way to achieve my goals and dreams. I am also nervous because it means time is going by so quickly, and I feel as if I have nothing to show for it. I am also nervous because it means I am turning into a grown-up, and I definitely do not feel like one. I remember being little and thinking to myself that I don't have to do certain things until I'm a "grown-up". I don't have to read the newspaper until I'm a grown-up. I don't have to drink/like wine until I'm a grown-up. I get to stay up late when I'm a grown-up. I can do whatever I want when I'm a grown up. Well as I approach grown-up age, I still do not enjoy reading the newspaper. And I wish I had a bed-time, maybe this way I wouldn't be up so late every night. And I also still do not do whatever I want, but this is out of fear, not due to age.

I feel as if all of my friends have such exciting stories to tell, and I have none. I try to make New Years Resolutions that I can keep. But the best part about having a summer birthday is being able to redo my resolutions. I can change them or add to them. My birthday resolution is to not over think every single thing. I have been doing a lot of thinking about regret. It seems that everything I think about, I try to decide if I will have any regrets. I'm tired of worrying about regrets. I need to live in the moment, rather than in the future. This is one resolution that will take a lot of effort, but I am willing to work on it.

Another birthday resolution that I have is to be more vocal. I find that sometimes I can be really quiet, and fall into the background of all my friends. In one magazine, I read something that really affected me. The author wrote that she was usually the person taking pictures, rather than being in the pictures. I feel like I am that person. Instead I would like to be the one to give my camera to other people, and join in the pictures and the fun. I think this one resolution can be accomplished. I think I am already starting to become more outgoing. Now I just need to remember to take more pictures!

So as scared as I am to turn 23, I am ready for a new year. I have my camera charged, and I am ready to document my fun! I am also ready to stop over thinking. Hopefully I will be able to sleep better without thinking out every single thing I want to do. Stay tuned for the 23 things I want to try while I am 23!